Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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