I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
