he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Small penises have feelings too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I stole a fireplace last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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