He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
