Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
