ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
