I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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