last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
