i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
