i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
