I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
