A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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