dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
