i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
