Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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