Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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