he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
