we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
