I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
