How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
