yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Oh god it's open bar.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
