How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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