A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
