Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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