What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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