tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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