The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
