I'm eating all of the evidence.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
