you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
