my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
