I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
