I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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