We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
