No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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