i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
