Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
