I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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