Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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