So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
