it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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