you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
