I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
