a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
