you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
