he thought i was a dude.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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