Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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