last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
