Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
