Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
