May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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